Letting Go of My Security Blanket

For all of my life I have worn my hair on the longer side.  Knowing that hair loss can be a side effect of weight loss surgery, that was  side effect I thought I was prepared to deal with, until it happened.  I'll never forget the day I was getting ready for work (3 months post op) and noticed the thinning of my hair.  I cried.  Boo-hoo-bucket tears.  It was soooooo thin.  I masked it as best as I could and resolved that, if necessary, I would get a sewn in weave.  Luckily it never got THAT bad and started to grow back after about 3 months.

The last time I got my hair relaxed I got the damaged ends cut off and had my hair layered (a style I love).  I kept it a medium length and immediately thought (when I got home) that I should have gone shorter.  In my mind, for the past 3 months, I have been envisioning myself with shorter hair.  So, today I finally bit the bullet and had it cut really short.  Here it is...

    

I have NEVER gone this short before, but I LOVE it.  I usually tear up when I get my hair cut, even if its my my choice, not by necessity.  Not even a hint of a tear this time.  

Of course the question everyone wants answered is why.  Why this short?  Why now?  The short answer is that I am turning 40 (God willing) next month and this is a part of the "new me."  The real answer is that I never felt secure enough with the way I looked to go short.  My hair was my security blanket.  It kept me shielded when I needed to be.  I could hide behind it.  Now that I have lost 80+ pounds and I have gained a bit of self esteem, I want to show me off, if that makes sense.